Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Writing of a Poem

I close my eyes
I cleanse my mind
I turn inside
and I listen.
I feel it now
the voice inside
speaks not in words
but in essence.
And I write -

Drifting
Swiveling
Hovering
Fingers
Frictionless
A Devil's Breath
above my skin
Enclosing
Yet opening
Lifting me
To see
Storm
center around
Me


.
.
.

Question: Better with or without the "intro"?

5 comments:

Eva said...

Without imo. dunno why, just a gut-feeling.

Sara said...

I don't really know. It turns into two completely different things. I know this is an annoying answer but I really like both versions.

Sara said...

Oh and I love the new look. It's very uplifting and bright without being too much and tasteless.

Rik said...

Absolutely keep the intro. Absolutely do. It gives so much volume to the second part. Somehow I think it adds a second layer to the poem, which makes you think about the poem itself.

To me, the intro adds a sort of Escherian hands-drawing-themselves-effect which i really like.

Iceye said...

Eva: Gut feelings may be the most important thing about poems. ^^

Sara: Really? I think it's quite tasteless :P To my defense it didn't appear quite as bright when I made it.

Rik: Thanks