Monday, July 6, 2009

Unorthodox and politically incorrect dating ad.

Race: Korean. Class: Undetermined. Guild: Flying Horse on Fire. Time Played: 21 years. Current Hearthstone in: Sweden. High scores in Int and Wits, low Str. Not involved in any organized events or religions. Teetotaller. Flaws: Lazy, sometimes Self-Righteous. Favored skills: Computer, Language (any), Empathy. Unfavored skills: Socialize, Athletics.

Local Arena Team 2v2, requiring long term committment. Team members will be expected to join the guild; casual guild with no more than 2-3 events/week, be nice or you will be kicked. No power leveling. No cheating (unless you're good enough to get away with it).
Equipment: no req, but set bonuses add to final score.
System requirements: minimum 12 Int, 12 Wits, 10 Cha. Skill points in Computers, Animal Ken, and Empathy much appreciated, as well as Language (Swedish)/Language (English) or equivalent. A few skill points in Socialize and Streetwise could be good to complement the team. Anyone focusing on a physical build are welcome but should know that this is not the general focus of the team, nor the guild.
Talents: Maxed Honor and Respect. Any points in Sexism results in immediate disqualification (no, calling it a joke will not make it ok).

Personal Message:
Hai. Seeking someone to be my evil lair and base of operations. Neither sanity nor sex are required to fill the spot, as long as your insanity does not resort to violece to animals. Will not provide weapons of mass destruction; bring your own. No churches or villas or anything of the horrid sort, only an oath to break each other out of jail if one of us would sink as low as to get caught. You'll have to get along with my minions; can't get rid of them even if I for some stupid reason would want to. (They will claim to not be my minions, btw, but you'll know them by how we all sometimes get together to coordinate our secret plans.) For my evil image and self-respect you cannot be more than 20cm taller than me or you'll need surgery.

Blondes get a +1 on Charisma checks, afro-american people a -1.

Application information:
Running interviews and hiring.


alex said...

cute and funny! =)

Rik said...

You know, I think this is exactly the kind of ad that will give you exactly the right kind of person, or exactly the wrong kind.

Kristin said...

At least it should get a lot of attention :)

Eva said...

You totally has me. If I was bisexual. Dunno if I am.

Iceye said...

@Alex: thanks :)

@Rik: hm, true.. but if you find a foolproof way to keep the wrong kind of people away, we'll give you the Nobel Prize :P

@Kristin: obviously it did get a lot of attention... people haven't talked to me this much about a blog post since... I dunno :P

@Eva: neither do I. I left gender out just to be on the safe side.

Sara said...

I hope it goes well for you. The height clearly limits the possibilities though. I think it's good that you have some standards ;)