Friday, March 4, 2016

Sometimes It's Lonely

People who consider themselves "regular" have certain things they like to say. Things like "it's a good thing people like X exist, because they remind us of X things", or "I probably have some diagnose too, I like to X and I'm a little like X". Or "It's actually true, what they say, those X people, isn't it, when you think about it."

It's said in regards to many things, like other cultures or social positions, but I've heard it most frequently in regards to various personality variants, like Autism, Aspbergers or ADHD. It's also sometimes said to people who are just generally "smart".

These things are said as good things. Like it would somehow connect us or make me feel better.

Let me give you a head's up: this is some of the most stupid things I've ever heard in my life. And I've heard some stupid things. Like, "jeez, probably so have you, so imagine how stupid they sound to me" well that is a pretty douchy thing to say right. It's quite like how those thing sound to me.

"It's a good thing people with ADHD exist because they get things done." Gee. How charming. "It's a good thing you exist, I'm telling you because you probably didn't think so otherwise, and it's imperative that I express I don't think you're annoying." Do people, no matter what they are, require your good opinion of their mere existence? "It's a good thing straight people exist because they make babies." Fun, isn't it? We're bonding here, aren't we?

"I probably have Aspbergers too, I like to do calm repetitive things and I'm a little asocial." Yes, let's reduce the problems that people actually with Aspbergers face in society by likening them to how you like to crochet and got tired of that party last week with all the shouty people. Come back when the thought of making a phone call, any phone call, makes your eyes tear up and triggers all your fight-or-flight responses.

"It's actually true what they say, kids, when you think about it." Hey! Here's some news for you! IT'S STILL FUCKING TRUE EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! WHICH IS WHAT YOU DO ALL THE TIME! NOT THINK! Kids sound inane to me. Most of them are boring; there are rare exceptions, but most of them are incredibly boring. Because they say things which are, in fact, obvious. Adults are for some reason ooh-ing and aah-ing as if they just spoke the deep philosophical truths of the world. Emperor without clothes-style.

This is an angry post. In case you missed the tone.

Recently a woman talked to me about her son who has Aspbergers. She used sentences in all of the above styles. I think she's a great mom, and she does her absolute best, and I think she seems to adapt to his quirks as well as any person could. But these are the things I couldn't tell her then. I wish I could find a way to express it less angry, because if I'd found some way to tell her, maybe it would have made her son's life better in some tiny way.

I told her sometimes it's lonely.

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