Monday, May 3, 2010

My favorite season

And so it has begun, once again.

Sun and heat and wind and bugs and clouds and rain and grass and dirt and gravel and leaves and cold and light and stuff.

Dogshit and catpee and birdcrap and mosquitos and beetles and flies and worms and fish and mud and cows and horses and ugly little dogs, beavers and cranes and birdsong at 5 A.M.

Shorts and sandals and sunbathing and swimming in dirty lakes, hot sand and sticky sand and pine needles and picnics and blankets and grilling and midsummer and the Swedish population spontaneously lobotomizing away why the fuck we built houses in the first place.

Shit and crap and living bugs blowing into anything you try to eat outside, but why the flying fuck would you eat it outside in the first place.

Dead rats rotting in the sun beneath quivering, damp, choking air.

Unless if by blessing the temperature manages to hit that magic perfect where it's not too hot, not too cold, and nobody whines about either. When it might be bearable. But then someone's bugging the shitting crapmonkies out of me trying to force me outside by sheer power of Joker-smiling retardedness. There are starving children! Melting glaciers! War! Turn your attention to something else than my relative location to roofs, please. Why not to this sun-thing, that you can't shut up about.

Hello and gtfo.

Summertime.

10 comments:

Nallenon said...

You rock.

Am I supposed to relate to the "sheer power of Joker-smiling retardedness"? :P

Riklurt said...

Brightness makes me sleepy and boring. This is my primary gripe with summer. I don't mind the heat so much, but all the light near drives me crazy.

Alex said...

I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.

Its snowing here.

I'm beginning like global warming... Every day feels like rolling a 4 sided season-die. Today we rolled winter. Fun times!

Yeonni said...

I realize that my outburst might require a shard of explanation, else I come off as the whiniest person on Earth.

Since the moment I was born, unless I was under protection from bugs and direct sunlight, I have been a very unhappy cat. And from the moment I could understand language, I have been whined at Every.Fucking.Day of summer to be outside without any.fucking.consideration of my sentiments towards it by family, friends and well-meaning strangers. I kid you not.

Needless to say, that did not improve my opinion of summer. And also made the sheer mention of "let's go outside cuz it's sunny" bring about a volcano of raging hatred in my head even to this day of adulthood.

Kristin said...

The only thing I can't understand is why sunlight is so horrible. And in any case, being the kind of person that likes to run around in the forest I am hugely biased towards summer. And I hate cold. It is rarely cold in the summer.

Kristin said...

Oh, and did I mention water? I love swimming ^_^

David said...

You'd like it where I'm at. Most of the time there's shaded, bullet proof glass, concrete and sand bags between me and sunlight. Which, I'm afraid, are all turning me into the outdoors-mongering sun-worshipper you'd prefer separated from yourself by, well, sand bags and concrete.

I'll come home for a week in early June, and I intend to lobotomize away every form of memory of man made shelter as I do. Unless, of course, seeing you guys requires an exception. Where will you guys be in early June?

Kristin said...

Most likely in Uppsala

Nightflyer said...

Hm...

Yeonni said...

Early Junes would be Uppsala for me at least.

I don't say I can't enjoy a quiet summer day, taking a walk down by the river or reading in the shade of a tree. I just don't believe it's superior to watching a snowstorm from inside safe and warm shelter, or walking in soft autumn rain. There are as many annoying things about summer as there is about any other time or place. It's this whole "love sun or die" attitude that annoys me. Yes, it's sun. Yes, it comes every year. No, I don't want to be outside 24/7.