It is SO ODD to read old posts, most of all old poems and the ramblings I have around them. Poems are tricky things. They're obviously obvious to myself, which means that it's impossible to imagine what they look like to someone who isn't inside my head, and somehow right now I relate that to what they talked about in the Portal 2 commentary; that puzzles have to be dumbed down for people to understand. If nobody understands my poems, then what would be their point? On the other hand, how much can I "dumb them down" without losing their meaning? Should I do that at all, seeing as poems should be "pure" or "raw" in contrast to prose or story form, or that's been my impression anyway. They are attempts at communicating, after all.

In any case, because of cat, when I get my random inspirations of wanting to sing (happens a lot) I've improvised melodies to a poem I made a long time ago that I love a lot and that works well to improvise simple tunes to. My roomie has expressed... I'm not sure what, puzzlement? at what this text is, so now that I've found my original (because I'd forgotten a verse) I'm going to post it here.

!

Have you ever seen a thing
as beautiful, as amazing,
as feline missus over there
and how she carries her bling-bling?

Every hair in proper place,
no sign of make-up on her face,
nor or knife or needle are
on her body any trace.

See how gracious her behind;
such a step is hard to find,
and this one mister over here,
she has already blown his mind.
Mister takes his only chance
and asks her politely to dance,
and there they go in correct waltz
though surely he would wish to prance!
Such a lady, is she not?
It takes him all night long to spot
a way in through her defense
as solid as the Camelot!
Though first saying firmly no,
treating him almost as foe,
no more a lady is she now
than to tell him "let us go!".
But do not think her easy prey;
more a hunter I would say.
And it will be up to her call
if there'll be kittens here in May!

!

Did I land on an invisible gnome?

My roomie keeps whining at me if I leave water on the floor in the bathroom after I shower. I always figured, meh, it'll dry away. Well, turns out, the world decided to demonstrate the wrongness of my ways, as I slipped in the hallway because I'd stepped in water. No big deal. But here's the thing. I slipped on absolutely flat floor, but I have a bruise right in the middle of my palm, about the size of my little finger's fingerprint. How does that happen?

Cheester!

Alone at last....!

Nah but because I'm spoiling my cat silly I'm staying here over Easter instead of going to my parents (and also because of some silly notion that I'd use this time to do some school-work... yeah! right!) and it's odd being on my own. It's something special about being absolutely certain that nobody's going to walk through that door without my explicit knowledge and consent (if all goes as it should). Not good or bad, just special. I think it makes the world sharper, more distinct. Having people around dulls the edges, for good or bad. Eases the pain, makes you a bit drowsy. Cats just eases the pain without dulling anything. Go cats. It sounds like I hate people but that's not true. I need people. And while I love to hate to need people, I need people to love to hate, otherwise I'm not sure I'd be neither loving nor hating and that would be incredibly dull. I think. Also it's more the need that I love to hate, rather than the people. I think. Hmm. Let's leave this subject before I confuse myself too much.

(Edit: People you know and/or like, that is. Random people just provoke random feelings, as their randomness suggests.)

Easter! Bunnies, chickens and eggs! All the fluffy and/or edible things make this one of my favorite holidays. Actually both bunnies and chickens are edible... Anyway, I thought about picking some sticks and buying some colorful feathers and stick the feathers on the sticks (haHA!), and then the second part of the thought involved sewing them into my clothes so that I get one of those back-fans like Edea in FF8:

except it would be made of sticks with colorful feathers, but I think I should settle on the first part. Also I think I'd get to keep it for about two seconds before I'd have a very happy cat tearing it to shreds.

Poison

So a bit of googling and calculating brings me this result; if my cat of 3kg did any of these:

• ate 220g milk chocolate (as a reference, one bar is usually around 200g)
• drank 12 cans of normal coke (or 8 half-liter bottles, or 2 big 2-liter bottles) 
• drank one 50ml cup of Starbucks coffee (pure, not some latte shit) 
• ate 28g of dark, unsweetened baking chocolate

he would most likely die. I strongly, very strongly, doubt he could fit 4l of coke, or 220g choclate, in his tiny stomach, or that he'd venture to drink strong, black coffee, but the baking chocolate could be a possible scenario I guess. Also he would get kinda sick before it got lethal. This is in one quick dose, but that doesn't mean it's fully safe eating smaller amounts. If it's done often it can also be dangerous since cats take up things again automatically from their own urine and so the poison could stay for a long time in their bodies and build up.

(As a side note, poisonous doses are almost always based on weight, and that's the case in this case. So dogs would have to eat a whole lot more to get sick. An adult, average German shepherd weighs about 11-13 times as much as my cat; that's 11-13 bars of chocolate. I don't know if they do the whole taking up nutrients from their own urine thing, because if they don't the poison also leaves their bodies faster.)

I also found out that the reason cats hate, and I mean *hate*, the smell of citrus fruits is because eating them makes them vomit.  They'd have to eat a damned lot of citrus fruit for it to get dangerous, and most likely they'd have thrown up long before that. Unfortunately for them they can't smell the poison (it's not just the caffeine) in coffee, tea or chocolate, that's actually more dangerous, and they don't always vomit it up if they eat enough to get seriously sick either.

So keep the baking chocolate away from the cat, or the cat away from the chocolate. Considering the nature of cats, I strongly suspect the first is easier.

Unguarded

When did this happen?
When did this tousled little ball of fur
become a single fire burning
at the top of the world?

When did the world shift and make you mine?
I wish I could recall ever letting my guard down.
But the truth is you've spread like a drop of red paint
slowly stretching through the plumbing of my veins,
and the passages of my mind.

When did it happen?
When did this sleeping god awaken
to shred the shell I once met
and plant the new seed?

When did the sprout burst, and its leaves?
I wish I could recall ever seeing it grow.
But the truth is it's here, rooting you in my home,
slowly growing into the webs of my bones,
reaching into a memory, into my heart...

awakening the fear that I
have spent a hundred lifetimes forgetting
and still failed.

A Modest Request

Oh hai. A bit of shamelessness coming up. My brother is in a hockey team, and they need to pay for stuff like renting the ice to practice on, or equipment and travel. There are a few ways anyone can get them money without paying a dime themselves, only sacrificing a few seconds or minutes whenever they feel like it. You won't need to get out of your chair, or open your mouth. I don't like to be pushy and demand things from people, and I'm also trying to maintain a sense of anonymity in this blog, but at the same time this is an excellent place to ask people. So I'm putting it out here and if you think it sounds reasonable you can get back to me either in the comments or on other media and then I'll tell you all about it elsewhere. It literally only takes you between a couple of seconds and ten minutes a week, and it might give you stuff like discounts depending on what you do, and it's absolutely legal and will not ruin your credibility, neither your street rep. It's possible it only works for people in Sweden, or Scandinavia, at least the stores and stuff involved are mostly local so the discounts may only be useful for people here, but I'm pretty sure you can help anyway if you're extraordinarily selfless. Alright, now I'm done, and will never mention this again ^.~ Peace out.