Fell on the bike, first time since I started biking again. It's when I start or stop that I risk tipping over to the left, and if I do, there's a loooong terrible moment where I know I'm going to fall over and can do absolutely nothing about it. I can fret and wave about, but all it accomplishes is to make me look even more stupid. That's why I'm afraid of biking. I do it anyway because of the time it saves, but I'm always afraid of having to stop at a red light, always heave a sigh of relief when I don't tip over.
And unlike falling when standing up or something, there is absolutely no way to fall gracefully on a bike. Either you get the damned thing over you, or under you, or it gets stuck to your pants or your shoes, and it has you collapse very un-prettily in a pile of arms and legs and metal.
In this case I grabbed onto the basket of a nearby parked bike to try and stop the fall, which only, of course, made that bike fall on top of me too. Once I'd untangled myself, there's a woman standing a few feet away staring at me. "Are you hurt?" And I go "no no" and say some excuse about my leg being bad and pointing to the thingy I have attached to help with walking. Drunk students everywhere around me, so she probably thought I was drunk. That hurt my pride something incredible, for some reason. Not only did she watch me have one of my damned, hated, fearful, humiliating battles with an immobile bike sloooowly tipping over, she also probably though I was too drunk to handle the immobile bike. I felt like attacking her, just to be sure.
I didn't though. Sometimes that's the only difference between me and a serial killer, that I don't, but that's all that really matters. That, and the fact that someone who can't handle a fucking immobile bike probably does not make an amazing serial killer.
Please do appreciate the wry cynicism in my voice here. I'm trying to deal with the fact that because I sloooowly tipped over on an immobile (fucking) bike, I'm going to be extra terrified for a couple of days, or weeks, or months. Last time I quit for several years. God I was such a whimp.