I get too little sleep again. Have to pull myself together before I end up screwing this up too. I kind of like this school, and I have enough free time to justify working now and then. I don't want to ruin it.
Social stuff is still a nightmare at times. I'm such a jealous bitch, though just like my judgmental intellectual I hide her well. My worst enemy is myself, because if I didn't care so damned much about being liked, I wouldn't worry about making friends, and I'd make them with less effort and angst. I think. Right now there are three people I trust around here, like trust more than just random people. Then I guess there are some that still levitates above the general crowd, but with so little that I can't be sure yet. Really, three, after two weeks, I should be more than happy with that. To that, everyone that I set my sights on meeting and talking to, I have managed to meet and talk to. Might not have made a grand impression, but I did. I should give myself more credit.
Noodles is my drug. Any depression can be cured with a bowl of freshly boiled noodles.
Borrowed Shadow Hearts: Covenant too. Have to play in the common room for now, until I can hook my PS2 to my computer screen, and I keep feeling nerdy for playstationing for 3 hours straight while the others socialize, play pool, clean and do homework. But Yuri is so damned hot, I can live with it. At least for a few days longer.
Mom's birthday the 1st. I have no gift. Maybe I could draw something. I don't think she expected one, but I still feel like crap about it.
Mad and Kuffu was down to visit today. We spent the day being bored, but it was nice seeing them.
Sometimes, when I get panicked about feeling like an alien among a sea of ponytails and mascara, I wish I had someone to call. Or someone who could come over.
Girl, someone strong like you,
the boys want to make you weak,
want to break you, so to speak,
want to be the one
that you make unique.
1 month ago