Right, didn't have time this morning, but I just want to point the attention towards the update panel. Finally Kirya is underway after a stupid pause during which I've been doing many things but none of them producing any tangible results. Otherwise there's some stuff going on in my private life, some of them sad, so I'm not sure I'll be blogging quite as regularly for a while. Not that it matters.

I'll probably be holed up here writing, though, to the satsifaction of my peers, since emotional periods mean more dedication to my work. Stay tuned, have fun. I'll see you around.

You Are What You Wear

Time moves fast now when summer vacation is here.

I've been trying to get Spore Creature Creator up and running. As far as I know right now, there is absolutely no reason why it refuses to work. The support I've gotten so far has consisted of "have you updated the latest drivers for your graphics card" which feels like an insult in the scale of a slap to the face, since I've been spending a lot of time now looking up specifics for my video- and soundcards and updating BIOS for my motherboard, restarting my computer something like 16 times. Argh. If they don't answer my mail in another 24 hours, I'll consider myself spit upon, and they'll have hell to come.

For now I'm sketching on all kinds of outfits, trying to figure out how you make an outfit for a guy that oozes goodness and kindness without making him look like a wimp. And how to make a woman a dress that looks cool, but not priestly, yet not as if she was a porn star, and should be imaginably possible to fight in. Checks and balances, it seems. A little boyish here, a little coolness there. A little bare skin here, a little layers there. Puh.

Tomorrow I'm going for a weekend of off-time, roleplaying, deep philosophical discussions and sillyness. Can't wait.

Update at the End of Things

Hope all of you had a good time Thursday-Friday celebrating your new freedom. For some it won't last long, for others longer than they wished.

My brother finished 9th grade. Dunno when all this growing up happened, I sure wasn't there to see it. But it's only fair, I guess. When I turned 20 was the first birthday I actually felt a difference; it felt like I was an adult now, like I was only pretending before. Bro had his first taste of it now, I think, realizing things like that the future is a scary place, that progress is both good and bad, and that just when you start to really get to know people it's time to break up. I think he'll be okay. And he looked smashing in new jeans and a striped shirt. Been ages since I saw him in a shirt.

As for me, I won't have a job this summer. I can only pray I get into school, because I have no second choice. Otherwise my life will be pretty empty, and I can't take sitting by the sidelines another year. It already feels like the world, and the people in it, is moving along without me. This summer, however, will be pretty full anyway. I have some projects I want to finish up before getting busy with important things. Stuff like two novels and a few short stories to polish off, some drawings and illustrations, losing those three kilos I gained this winter, doing Math C unofficially just for the heck of it since I have the book, and so on. And I need to make some time for friends too. I dunno what everyone fill their summers with, but this is good enough for me.

Oh, and for those with free time and a computer; play The Witcher. Wonderful rpg, without the silly "good or evil" choices, but with choices that actually make a difference without being too obvious. I've torn my hair more than once wondering who to assume is the bad guy. And combat can be everything from a pushover to a real challenge, since there are three difficulty levels to choose from.

Tan carefully, buddies!

*playing around with an imaginary stage+microphone*

It may have gone unnoticed, or rather it should have gone unnoticed since I've done absolutely nothing to make anyone notice, but I actually have music to a few texts myself. I don't trust my musical ear, and I don't know any instrument well enough to be able to write it down properly, but it's all stored in my head. No complicated tunes, I assure you. Just a natural effect of me meddling with writings, poems, worlds, languages and mystics. Creating own races with own languages and cultures aren't half as hard as making a half-assed song, but since their culture includes music... you get the point.

This piece, as such, has a tune. Things I write for music tends to have a different rhythm than other poetry, and is less rigid in rhymes as such. Neither is it finished, this is the ending of it. But songs, more than poems, need to come spontaneously and of themselves. As soon as I intellectualise them, they flat-out insta-wise very much die. Anyway, I like it sooo much. I guess I can't really convey why, because you can't hear the music in my head, or the Nickleback-ish rough voice singing it, but bah. Have some imagination. ^_-

What I would give

I would give the world for you
I would kill a thousand men
I would turn out all the stars
and I would light them up again
I would give my life for you

But there is no God
or the Devil would collect
my heart

Hope

I am going to lose you.

All has been said, all has been done
I believed in that you would stay this time
it hurts so much because
I believed in that you would stay this time.

But I am going to lose you
I am going to lose you
I. Am going. To lose. You.

I did all I could do
Nothing I do matters
I gave you time. You used it.
But now?

It is within you
Death is within you
death is within You
And the only way to pluck it out
is to cut up your chest
and break your ribs apart
and tear out your heart

Death is in your heart
and it's eating its way out

I will remember you.
I will always remember you.
And every time I will stand
before the choice to reach for something
that can be lost
I will remember you.

Oh Father who are in Heaven.
Holy is thy name.
Be thy will, as in Heaven
so on Earth.

And we pray.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Oh, and just so you guys know I won't be available on cellphone again until Friday the 6th of June. So if you want something, easiest way to get hold of me is to drop a comment in the blog or mail me. Cuz I'm still at school. But soon no more. ^^