Twirks

Speaking of stupid fascinating impulses, I just had the strongest one to seduce my teacher. If God had given me a little more shrewdness, the Devil would've had a lot more fun.

On a different, yet the same, note:
It's a lot easier to do something for someone else than for yourself, at least if it's something you don't want to do. I thought about my fear of failing at school (caused, make no mistake, by my own character in combination with the unforgiving IB) and of how I could be made to make an effort - how to motivate me so to speak. I think the most important is a teacher I personally respect, not just professionally, but also like as a person. This attraction I've told you about before, this obsession with people and beauty (not just conventional beauty; I use the word in lack of others to point to that specific something some people have) may play a large role here. But once again, my observations about how to create a pefrect surrounding for my living and learning is thwarted by reality; I have no control over what teacher I get. Just like I'll never get that house in Gibraltar with all of my friends inside.

Hey, I suddenly remember, the only teacher I really respected in primary school was this young woman with curly brown hair who I was totally crushing on and who played football on weekends. Can't remember her name, but I remember her. I loved her voice.

I Have A Dream

I had a dream of waking lands where everything was gone
where every story had been written and sung was every song.
I had a dream where time had ended and night and day was one
and I saw the stars sharing heaven with the glory of the sun.
I had a dream where shouts of joy and wails of grief had ceased
where all the needs were satisfied and all the wants were pleased.
I had a dream of perfect peace without apple, without snake
but nothing ever happened there, so I hurried to awake.





(And I'll ramble a little to not make it two posts:
Tobias was on in Let's Dance tonight, it seemed the people watching it with me tired of my repeated statements of how handsome he was, how good he dressed, how beautiful his choreography is, and how he absolutely must not be voted out. Then I realized I was actually cheering for him because of his appearance rather than his actual contribution to the competition, and I was ashamed. From now on I shall simply enjoy every moment of his screentime and keep that as a separate form of entertainment from the show. After all, it's Dilba wer're supposed to evaluate. (Well, not that I actually vote.) But do admit; he is easily one of the top three when it comes to choreography, no matter how objective one is.
And who anticipated that Tony Rickardsson would be the king of the dancefloor? Well, I did. Because, listen, there are two types of men that makes out the absolute crème de la crème of manliness and physical perfection, who has strength, agility, stamina, and fingertip feeling; if you find one with good personality, then you've scored top of the food chain, baby. They are as follows; dancers and speedway drivers. And that is definitively the most indisputable thing I have ever said.)

Sorry about this but: kaaa-waaa-iii ^^ Mr. Jacob had the tiniest hint of a stubble today. And hey, since people from school actually read this blog once in a while now, I'm not sure I dare write anymore, but what he was wearing... and his hair... kaaaa-waaaa-iiiii!

What's that look for? I need something to light up my day!