Picking up on K

Watched the documentary about dog breeding that Kristin has linked. And let me tell you. If The Sims didn't convince you, this is actual, real life proof that humans, on no level, should ever be given the powers of the gods. That show-version of German Shepherd isn't a German Shepherd, it's a real, man-made mutant freak of nature, and it has to suffer from it. And give me a gun and let me shoot the bitch that thinks putting down healthy puppies because they miss the right fur mutation on their backs is perfectly sensible. Mutations are mutations for a reason; they have no evolutionary advantage so they never become the standard. Until we start fucking with them and produce animals who by all rights should all be put down at birth out of compassion. No. Give me a working dog or a mix.

I saw the awesomest dog, on that note. Head shape and tail like a (healthy) shepherd or a spitz, (sharp, I mean) but size like a Saint Bernhard. And white. I wonder what it was? It looked very fluffy and cozy. If those are mixes or sensible animals I would want one. Although it would probably fill up an apartment real good :P

Long beards and plaits

I read about Jews, and thus far, they seem by far the traditional organized religion that most reflects what God must really be. Some Jews, I suppose orthodox mostly, do not accept converting, because they were a chosen people. I think it's an admirable stand. And as for all those born not being a Jew, if they're good, God will take care of them anyway. Listen, if God is good, why would he actively give people reason to murder, like asking them to force religion upon other? How is that mercy? How is that faith? As for where evil comes from, I think it comes from our own minds. I read a book written by a Jew about their religion, and it says that in each and every case of crime, one must look to all circumstances, one must have compassion. Thus, I think, evil is subjective. Only God can judge. We must punish where we can do nothing else, but we must not judge.

We all break down sometimes. According to many of the elder generation, it's because we're all sissys. I think it's cuz we're godless. Not in the blasphemous, burn in hell way, but in the way that we have no faith. I admire the hero that stands up for his cause even when the whole world comes down on him, but would I do it? I would have to have faith. Immense faith in everything, in anything. I don't think my generation was brought up to have that faith.

Well, I'm not blaming anyore for not having faith, it's not something you can just get, like a banana from the supermarket. It's something that has to be planted and nursed into growing, and sometimes we can't do that nursing on our own.

Excuse me if I'm crying, I was watching an episode of The L Word.

Fool each other, it's Christmas!

Never really understood Christmas. Sure, back in the day I bet it was nice, getting gifts like that. But in this modern day when your parents can't even read the words on your wishing list and your grandparents can only dream about understanding your plzkthxbye language, and god forbid that either of them have any idea of how to get hold of it, and if they find it they pay thrice the value because they don't know what they're doing, it's hardly the same anymore. I can't exactly write "new graphics card" on my wishlist, they would have no idea what to do with that. And what else do I wish for? Well, I don't need clothes, furniture, movies, music or tickets to wherever. I'd love to have a cat, but I'm not allowed here, I'd want a teleporter, but they don't exist, I'd like to know what path to take next year, but it's hard to wrap the future in gift wrappings and little stickers.

That said, after having the gifts ready and christmas calendar faily worked out, when to meet who, what to eat where, I'm looking forward to it. Because I'm so conditioned for it, with all memories of the shiny new toys of my childhood? I'm also afraid like hell that dad won't like my gift, that people will start nagging each other, that I won't have anything to say, that grandma will start crying about how she wants to die, that brother will show the same heartbreakingly disinterest in any of the old folks like always, and I know most of this will happen.

Is that christmas? Decorating, baking, planning, buying gifts, talking about fun parties here and there, wishing people merry christmas, when we all know we're going home to the same dark winter mess as every other day? Is Christmas just an excuse to pretend in front of each other that we're not, so that when everybody pretends, we can all fool each other to be happy? And then to crash when reality hits us?

Maybe it's time to make new traditions, especially for the ones of us who don't believe in God. Like how I'm going to spend New Year's with friends; no strings attached, just a bunch of people who really like each other. That makes me happy.