Girl in Red

I'm on a roll!

See, I realized...

That's not boobs; This is boobs!


I make no promises, seeing as that is a guarantee for failure, but if you want to request something do it now. Because apparently I'm stuck on boobs. And also, I seem to be in a drawing-frenzy.


The wolf-tattoo and crest are shamelessly stolen. I make no claim whatsoever on the design. And to be fair, the letters are from something called "the Theban alphabet".

Girl in Green

Hi!
I got a sudden urge to draw boobs. So here, enjoy!
(I know the background is kinda slobbish, but whateves, it didn't have boobs.)

Also... I accidentally discovered something awsome when channel-zapping: serious, cute, non-joking, non-provoking gayness in a Swedish-produces drama series directed at the large crowd. I'm impressed.

Randomness Presents: The Name makes The Game

You can always find connections where you look for them. There are no coincidences.

Been lots of twists and turns in the story of The Name, but it has finally been concluded. My name would today be written "Da Yeon" and means, roughly, "very compassionate". Huh.

Doing quizzes is the perfect way to waste time. I dunno why I'm so fascinated, but it's fun.

The romantic type, those with turquoise hearts are the kind of people who wish their life would read like a romance novel. They love to be the one rescued by their mate--or alternately, the rescuer. They are also the kind to be socially cruel to those who wrong them, destroy ing the person's life for the pain caused to them. Those with turquoise hearts are faithful, but dislike boredom, and will leave if interest is lacking.


It's also darn impossible to get Korean music. I started out trying to find somewhere to buy it legally, like, say, iTunes. Do not work. Then I went illegal and pissed and tried to download it. Do not work. It's as if the only source is, like, YouTube and imeem. Idiots. -_- Dammit.

Talking just to hear my voice

I've colored my hair, finally! Not even close to as radically as I meant from the beginning, because hairdressers are cowards, but it's something, and I like it. I've also spent a ridiculous amount of time on learning how to get stuff from my PC to my PSP, it's simple enough, I just made it stupidly complicated by not reading the instructions, which I otherwise always yell at people to do. I sternly believe in instructions. Who was it that worked with writing instruction books for electronics? I have a vague memory of that someone I know did... ?

Honestly I don't have anything to say today. I just wanted to update the blog anyway. So...

Things I would talk to you about if you were here:
Financial crisis.
Front page designs.
One-tracked cultures.
Professional dancers.
Short term memory.
Sleep schedule.
Travel conference.
Ireland.
Battery time.
Automated costumer service.

Things I wouldn't talk to you about if you were here:
Things lost.
Travel plans.
Obsessions.
Cherished distance.
Getting lost in the beat.
Charisma.
Bodily frailty.
Passions of the future.

I haden't written a word for three weeks. Two nights ago I wrote two and a half pages by hand, around three at night, then I couldn't keep my eyes open. The urge struck. I've had that itch since then, but I don't sit down and write. Why?

Finland

My interest for knowledge would, if possible to express in physical form, probably look something like the model of time-space that a funny guy in a hood carries around in the DC universe. I can't find any pattern in what I'm interested in. I like parts of history, mathematics, psychology, philosophy, biology, sociopolitics, computer science... yeah, but on the other hand I really hate other areas within the same fields.

What brings about this poinless confession? I sought distraction from a very long time on a train, and found a book on the Soviet invasion of Finland. I'd really like to learn strategics and warfare; real large-scale combat, and I've already studied the Finnish Civil War and have a better overview of WWII than the first, so I thought, why not look intellectual on the train.

Well, the Finnish fought most of that invasion in the scale numbers of roughly 1:10, had severe lack of ammunition most of the time, and equipment that barely passed as cool in WWI. They did however have the wheather on their side, if by that I mean that Finnish people survive -38C and Soviets do not. Specifically since the Soviets for some reason forgot to bring proper coats, even if this was in the middle of December and Global Warming was still hiding in the bushes. They also forgot that most of Finland consists of forests and lakes, which implies that bringing dozens of heavy tanks that completely destroy the small roads and make retreat utterly impossible might not be the best idea. As if that wasn't enough, they also decided that one officer should have no say in where the other officer was, resulting in that they often blocked said small roads for each other with said tanks. Left was for the Finnish army to ski in, hide behind the trees and grant frozen, starving and locked down Russians warming gifts in the form of bullets and morlotov coctails.

Said should be that Soviet learned the lesson for the next war, handing Hitler and his nazis about the same treatment when that time came. Which was only fair, since Hitler swore in his non-agression pact with Stalin to not sell Finland weapons, but then used the ships he sent to fuel Stalin's submarines to ship weapons to Sweden. As if he had no idea what Sweden would do with them.

All the political bullshitting confused me, since I hadn't read such in-depth stuff about WWII before. But I think I have the general pictue: Finland is awesome.

The Tiger's Cave

So...

Pull myself up
Take the step
Move about in the big wide world and
open my eyes until the dry air make them hurt.

And...

Dive into the pond
Stick my head into the tiger's mouth
It doesn't matter if I answer the question right because
its fangs were made of foam.

It's strange, but...

No matter how much I drink
Or if I put a bucketfull by my bed
Only the humid breath of the tiger soothed my eyes and it was
warm from the heat of its lungs.

Feel Good

The one thing that makes everything feel better no matter what:

Laughter.

So, from now on, whenever I'm feeling down, I'll go YouTubing for Korean boybands and Asian gameshows. An irresistable combination.

He's called Ghoul, don't ever call him Nate

Hey!
It's been a lot of seriousness lately, and I think we all need a break. This was meant to just be a character sketch to begin with, so I tried a lot of new techniques that I thought of or picked up from here and there. To begin with I drew the sketch on real paper, scanned it and then drew the outlines again on top of the old ones, because I have yet to figure out how to make scanned imagines good outlines. Gave me the chance to correct some flaws on the original sketch too. Next came the flats. I only heard of flats recently, which should tell you how nooby I am at digital coloring. Google it, or better yet YouTube it, if you don't know what it is. The most genious thing since... I dunno, the start of digital coloring? Made everything insanely much easier and faster, which is why I felt I had time and interest left to make a real background with.

I feel pretty good about myself right now :P But more than anything, I have fallen in love with my tree. That tree, right behind him on that hill. Isn't it the prettiest thing you've ever seen?

An Answer

I feel that my answer on Nightflyer's comment on the previous post became too long to be a comment. I imagined that someone would think what she thought about what I wrote, but decided to post it as it was to let whatever come come. Because when you ask the question, you'll get your answer. Because this is what I wanted to say:

I understand what you want to say, and I agree, mostly. But that everyone can make their own happiness doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make it easier on everyone. It doesn't mean we should ignore shit people throw at us, "turn the other cheek". Even if fact is that life deals you cards under the table, you don't just sit down and take it. You stand up and shout. Because whether or not it helps you, whether or not it helps the ones who come after you, it makes you feel better. It gives you the special word for "pride" or "honor", self-respect, that Asia uses, that we here in Sweden have replaced with "lagom".

That I am adopted is an issue in itself. One I will, and am, dealing with. What's done is done. The question whether international adoption should or should not be performed, however, is a completely different issue and on a different level.

What I dealt with the first post was basically my own feelings and the beginning of me connecting to where I am from; because it is true that where I am from does have significance in the choice of where I will go tomorrow. I am also very aware of that I am the one who have cut myself off from my heritage.

The previous post, however, is aimed more at the later issue, an attempt to bring the question into the light. Adoption has always been seen as a good thing, right? I question that. I propose that it might even be bad, and I'm not the only one. I do that counting all information I know at this point, logically, and that my own feelings agree is only another fact that supports this theory. I am a part of my own test-group. Not scientifically viable, but in real life a rather commonly practiced form. I want people to think about whether what Korea practices is adoption or a dandied form of selling humans.

Listening to someone feeling sorry for themselves is quite annoying. I know I do my own bit of whining, but for your information quite a lot of it is venting and/or the author side of me going haywire because strong emotion is the best food for words and letters. I'd say my flaw is to blame stupidity and systems created by stuidity for all my problems instead of dealing with myself, but I do not feel sorry for myself. I have chosen my path; I could have made it easier, but I will not. Neither would I change the fact of my adoption if I could. I never said I'd rather have stayed where I was; I have no idea how life would have been or who I would have been; quite frankly I have never thought about it. Can't change the past. No point in thinking about whether I would want to.

I know you know me better than most. Do you think I would take an opinion because "everyone says so"?