Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Get a grip!

Why can't we all get along? The conflicts of the Middle-East, the hatred in certain religious groups, bullying and gang wars, it seems far away from most of us. We look at these people who kill for what we deem as nothing. Then remember; there must be someone in your life that you don't like. Be it a work partner, a relative, a neighbor, maybe the friend of a friend, or the wife of an uncle. Think of that person. Think of all the things that person has done to you that you deem unjust and mean, all those little things that really are nothing, but amount to Mars's enormous 27 km. Most often it's about respect; the problem with that is that there are no physical proof, most people will say; what do you have against her/him really, and you'll be forced to say "I don't know" or maybe "he acts like a three year old" or "she's just doing that to hurt me" and everyone around will be forced to choose side blindly.

Now imagine spending your entire life side by side with that person, and tell me, why can't we all get along?

Is the only solution to stay away from that person? To separate yourself from him/her? What if you have friends in common? Will they have to choose? Will you have to leave people you love behind, to be able to... what? Live in peace? Preserve your self-respect?

Now listen closely; I don't think that's true. Throughout conflicts in my life, people have always hit their limits when it comes to some things and some people. And they will, ultimately, say it's someone else's fault. Sometimes it is. Regardless, I have never never had to leave anyone for anyone else's sake. I have never had such problems with people. The biggest problem I have with people seem to be either that they don't like me, or that my friends can't get along with each other. I can see the psychological reasons behind actions, I can read people like open books. But just because I know it doesn't mean I understand. Communication is the best tool, but when used the wrong way it may do more damage than help. I still think it's better to talk about something when you find it a problem, to a limit where nothing more can be done. And be honest! There's no point in talking if you're going to lie in the end. I'm not saying you can't wrap it up in silk, that's often better than just running people over. But also, don't forget to listen. Communication means the words go both ways!

So listen, friends and foes:

Why can't we all just get along?

8 comments:

Rik said...

For once, I have nothing to say but "I agree".

Nightflyer said...

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Nallenon said...

Look! The Nightflyer made me do it! Now I'm going to do it properly. Hold on.

Nallenon said...

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Iceye said...

Of course everyone agrees. It's like saying "racists are wrong", everyone will agree. But you can nod and smile all you like; the only thing that matters is how you enforce it later on. And don't think you can stay out of all conflicts going on around you; if you know about them, if you talk about them, you're a part of it. Either take action, or shut up.

Athela said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alvekatt said...

As I had a conflict with someone here I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with that conflict, though it probably doesn't I don't think we are close enough for it to affect you so. It seems it has died down now, though I won't trust that person deeply again the tension seems to have left a room, which is a real blessing. Now I can move on.

Iceye said...

I'm not pointing directly at a single conflict; what I say apply to all forms of conflict at all times.