the Lifestream chronicles

Ever get the feeling that you don't belong in your own family? You're not alone.

I made one of those realizations today that I imagine makes the difference between kids and grownups (that sounded really cheesy, but I'll keep it). I've been criticizing my parents pretty hard for the way they've treated my sickly little most-beautiful-in-the-world... ehrm, I mean my cat. Mostly the way they've been talking about him, like he's over and out already. But it's just their way of dealing. Mom almost started crying today talking about him. Just watching him getting worse has been wearing on all of us, especially coupled with grandma's condition (which is all too alike). Some things I know without really knowing it, know what I mean? I know it intellectually, but I don't understand it. Well, today I better understood that I've been the one pretending I'm the only one who loves him, when we only feel it different ways. I've been missing the most part, away at school. They've been dealing with it day-by-day.

My family and I are still very different, and I still can't stand them too long periods at a time (but who can I stand too long periods at a time?), and often it feels like I'm the only one fighting to adapt so we can coexist, but they are my family. For better and worse.