I have an opinion; I am told repeatedly that I seem like someone who has opinions, and that is true. The problem is that when my opinion takes flight from my mouth, it suddenly completely loses its point and I seem to talk in circles. Or so I feel, at least, like what I say don't have a point and core and is far too easy to pick apart. I'm just wondering; is it like this for everyone? Because some people seem to know exactly what they're talking about; they move around in complicated expressions as if it was their own back yard, and they drive a politic standpoint or moralic right as though heaven and hell hung on it. I'm not talking about their drive or conviction or reason, I mean: how do they find the right words, how come they have opinions that fit together with the language so well? I feel like I'm trying to plant a flower using a lawnmower, or whatever weird parallell you want to use for trying to do something with tools that aren't meant for it. I know how to use a lawnmower and I know where I want the flower, but the two doesn't work very well together. Writing, where I have some more time to think, I do better, but it still feels awkward and clumsy. Hardly because the language is insufficient, I doubt that. I'm cutting diamonds with a hammer, and there's nothing wrong with the hammer, that's the best analogy I can think of right now.
This is ultimately why I write fiction; because using fiction I can present an example where eventually as the story develops it can channel the feelings, impressions and opinions I otherwise can't get through to people.
Okay, so I admit, I had philosophy today. I wasn't talked down, we had a rather good discussion, but it felt like the more I tried to explain what I meant, the less it made sense, not because of my audience but because of myself. I don't know if I'm the only one thinking like that. Because it may just be that I think it's bad because I can't go back and look at it. Usually when I write I think what I've written is bad until I read it through. Well, anyway. My question still stands:
Does everyone feel like that?
5 weeks ago