Tuesday, December 18, 2007


It appears that, except for a very regularly updated though not very regular christmas calendar, my friends blogging has ceased in the face of Santa, but I will hang on 'til the bitter end. We had christmas dinner today at school. I hate parties, if I don't know more than three quarters personally and the total sum rests safely below twenty. I made happy face, dressed up reasonably and went anyway, for the sake of social common sense.

On to the more important issue, as have become a habit these latest posts.

Tomorrow at 0700 there's an assembly in the "religious hall" of this school. Remember, there are courses for priest-persons and playing-piano-in-church-persons here, so they have meeting (mass? what's it called?) at 1800 sometimes (maybe it's only sundays? I keep no check on such) and that's what they do in that hall. It's when people are supposed to say goodbye before christmas break. Now, people will believe I don't go because I'm a lazy bastard and it's too early in the morning, but the truth is I feel like I'm disrespecting christianity by going. And screw you (christian or not) who say oh, but church is for anyone, and it's just a tradition anyway and whatever else. Who gives a shit what you think? What I'm talking about is religion, and my religion states that it makes me uncomfortable to hang around places that belong to other people's religion when they're doing religious stuff and I have nothing to do there. I'm talking about that it makes me feel like I'm bothering your God, and screw you really hard if you think you know that better than I do. I can go to a church, look at it like a tourist, watch a wedding or just sit and think, that's one thing. But listening to religious songs and hallelujas, fine, you may think it means nothing, but to me it means that I'm not standing for the belief that I have. It's like talking shit about someone and then when they ask, deny it. Stand for your shit. That's what I'm doing. If God exists and is pissed at me for not being christian, then I'll take my punishment for that. Not running around church being in the way for people who really do believe.

There are so many reasons people totally run me over with a six ton truck when I say stuff like that (remember dogs are stupid, anyone?) but whatever. It's what I believe, thus it's my truth.
So put your christmas meeting somewhere else and I'll be there at 0500 in the morning if you want, but over there, no.


Sara said...

Okay this is going to sound so weird but I know exactly how you're feeling. In the beginning when I attended church I felt like a big faker. It felt like I was betraying all the christians in the world, and that any minute they'd figure me out. Luckily that didn't happen ^_^ I totally respect your choice.

I guess it's my job to discuss those words huh? Mass (mässa in Swedish) is a 'meeting' as you call it that involves the Eucharist(nattvard). Otherwise it is simply called service (gudstjänst). Hope that cleared things up.

Iceye said...

Ah, service it is, then. Thanks. And thanks for understanding too ^^ I'll be missing you on Christmas.

Sara said...

Well, considering I'm going to be stuck with people trying to 'understand' me, I'm certain I will miss you a lot too.

Iceye said...

That's sad -_- Be brave and we'll see each other New Years!

Kristin said...

FREEDOM (and a flying, burning horse)

Sara said...

Thanks for all the support, and that freedom-boost. I can't wait 'til New Years ^_^